on being friendly

for me, being friendly takes a fair bit of effort. typically simple gestures like smiling or saying 'hey' take conscious effort for me. perhaps this is strange because i LOVE to meet new people, enjoy good conversation and am totally brightened by friendliness in others...just the same, i struggle, and then beat myself up when i disappoint myself.

i was going for a stretch where i had gotten into the routine of being very friendly...where i was finally getting into my head that no one is offended or weirded out by a greeting or a smile...but i've been dropping the ball lately and slipping back into my former reclusive state.

i'd like to blame it on being very busy or tired, but true as they may be, neither of these are very good excuses. i'm going to work on this...again :).


ps: if anyone has pointers on how to do small talk, i'd love to hear them. i personally think small talk is bothersome and if you're going to bother talking to someone, you should be interested enough to have something worthwhile and meaningful to say. just the same, i think it's a pretty useful skill to have. right up there with being friendly and polite.