bottles to the ground

the thing about drinking...is that it rarely, if ever actually improves a situation.

you spend a lot of money getting addicted to a substance that doesn't really taste great and is packed with empty calories so that you may become stupid, angry and/or emotional in addition to coming off as a complete social retard. in the end, you're lucky if you even remember making a complete fool of yourself, and you feel like you've been run over by a garbage truck. not to mention, you get to face the ridicule of friends and strangers for days [or even years!] to come, and the recurring feelings of guilt and regret. repeat.

we do this to ourselves and you'd swear we were making an awesome choice, by the sounds of all of the 'fun' we had.

"man, last night i got so drunk i threw up on someones lawn, fell into a bush and then later wandered around my house in my underwear and kicked my room mate. it was such a good night!"

yeah, fucking awesome.

so, the cons surely outweigh the pros, so what's it all for?

breaking down restraints. overcoming shyness. blissful, uninhibited nights with great people who are feeling just as carefree as you are. escaping problems, if only for an evening.

but how much of that is the alcohol? if you do this drunk...you have it in you to do this sober. that rad person is ALWAYS a part of you, and those great people you surround yourself with are always great. acknowledging and coping with problems is much healthier than drowning them in a bottle of tequila. you have the power to reveal your finer 'drunk' qualities at will, but it takes work...and alcohol is easy. alcohol is a shitty excuse for a lot of things, and in the end...

is it worth it?

if you'd asked me two or three years ago, i'd say it was worth every single penny, blackout and social disturbance.

but now? not so much.

who ever thought that the wastecase would grow up and rearrange her priorities? and so soon?! but there are people i love who are a bajillion times more important than getting drunk. there is NOTHING so good about alcohol that can make straining those relationships worthwhile. i'm also into valuing self-respect, intelligence and good manners these days. i enjoy trying not to waste money so i can actually buy myself nice things, put food in my belly and travel. i want to have more time and money for learning, growing and putting towards my future. i don't like feeling like a sack of ass for days. it's just. not. worth. it!

yes, i think it's safe to say that alcohol and i are starting to part ways, and i think it will be happening much sooner than anticipated. at this point i'm not even interested in drinking to celebrate my birthday tomorrow, or even drinking at 9:01 on frosh leader sunday. i might. but as of right now, i'm not interested. maybe it's the hangover.


ps: that story about the retard falling into a bush? that was totally me a few weeks ago.